Okay, so I've said that I feel like I'm learning a lot about my profession, but there's a rub: Peter Senger states it best by saying "to practice a discipline is to be a lifelong learner. You 'never arrive.' The more you learn, the more acutely aware you become of your ignorance." That's frustrating.

The ignorance part is not so frustrating. I wholeheartedly admit that I am no expert. I can spout names and philosophies. My rub is that acute awareness I think is heightened.

I've been reading. A lot. And I have been reading a lot about being a teacher. I have a LOT of questions I want answered.

I absolutely love and hate at the same time the ease of purchasing books from the Kindle store. One click, and that's it. In fact, that's what Amazon calls it: 1-click purchase. With my Kindle, I can read on my phone, my iPad, my computer. My principal is THREATENING to get us Kindles. That may just make it worse. That said, I feel like those burning questions that I have about how to be a better teacher are literally at my fingertips.

What I have run into is this exact facet that Senger is saying. Some of the topics I have tried to learn more about simply do not have a right and wrong. The idea is that there will always be more ways to approach an issue. But my goal is to become a better teacher, and if there is no right or wrong way to approach the issue, how do I align myself? It is frustrating because there have been many instances that I can honestly say I FEEL are the right view or philosophy.

I am aware that I don't necessarily know the answer. But for those cases that there AREN'T answers, it is hard to cope with.

I think this has to be a big change professionals have to undergo. I can't believe it has taken me this long to REALLY notice it. It's like a slap in the face right now. As Senger implies, does anybody that really tries to be a learner go through this realization? If so, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think I'm a bit offended that it took me this long to get to this point. However, I think the converse of this may also be true; I don't know. I'm still a novice in the teaching field, and is this a change of view from the naive and fresh-meat outlook that I had leaving college and truly entering the teaching profession.